I mean, not in the physical way. I'm not too worried about that. Hell, I rarely do my hair since I got the eight inches chopped off a few weeks ago and I only really own a week's worth of decent-looking clothes... So, worrying about my physical appearance would just be pointless. Plus, I'm in college. I'm allowed to look less put together, right? Right.
What I really mean is how people see me as an actual person. My personality.
See, I had someone tell me tonight that I'm not an optimistic person.
Of course, the correct response from pretty much anyone who knows me is, "No shit, Sherlock." At least in normal, every day situations. He was saying I'm not optimistic because I don't like summer, though*... Yeah, if you can explain how those two things go together, I'd be grateful.
Well, as I was trying to figure out how being an optimistic person and enjoying a sweaty, disgusting season filled with people not wearing clothes go together, I realized that someone thought I see things from the bright side. And I wondered how.
I try, REALLY try, to not go around complaining about things. That's more to save the sanity of others than anything, though. No one likes the person who just complains about how annoying it is that that little piece of your nail color is chipped or how uncomfortable summer is all the time, right?
Right. But does this make me an optimist?
I asked a friend what he thought, and he said that in some ways, I am. I didn't ask him to go any further into detail, but I'm not going to lie... it shocked me.
I guess when it comes to trying to make people feel better, I try to seem up-beat about things. But that's because I don't like people being in a bad mood.
Or food. But that's more excitement than anything else.
When it comes to things like the world or love or the weather, though, I'm probably the most pessimistic of my friends.
I have little faith in humans. We are the rulers of screwing up things. No, really. Just think about it. Humans are fascinating creatures, but, despite how intelligent our brains are, we manage to do so many things wrong and treat each other so horribly.
Love...? Love songs, stories, and movies annoy the hell out of me. I like the ones where people don't end up together. It feels more realistic.
Weather? I live in Michigan... It doesn't take a genius to figure out why the weather annoys me at times.
I don't know. It's just weird that some people think I'm capable of thinking positively about things all the time. Have I really gotten that good at censoring myself**? I mean, I know I don't say much, but I'm rather positive my facial expressions give away just about everything.
And if some people see me as a happy, optimistic person, how else am I perceived?!
Do they think I'm smart? Dumb? Annoying? Self-absorbed? A bitch? Too nice?
Oh, good grief.
This is going to bug me now.
I'm going to try to go to bed.
You're welcome for updating about something that is just rambles. I'm tired, but wanted to get this out.
Good night.
Pippa the Fish loves you.
Chelsea
*It's not that I hate summer, I just don't love it. I mean, really, have you seen me?! I have little to no color. I burn, not tan! Plus, I continue to live in the north for a reason! I don't like it too warm. It feels gross and... it's just a mess.
** Except "bad" words. Yeah, I swear. Quite a bit. I'm working on that censorship...
