-gasp!- Religion

Hey, Reader!

First, let me give (actually honest) excuses for why I have not written on here in a while, in case anyone actually gives a flying Fig Newton. First, I was tired and working. Second, I was in Ohio for a few days to visit friends, so my time was being taken up by them. And more being tired, because we stayed up rather late and I felt weird sleeping in too late. Third, I was being selfish and absorbed in my own feelings about something that was going on that had me all confused and... -deep breath- That's for another blog. It actually fits with one of those blog topic things that I haven't been keeping up with very well. So, I guess you'll know in a little while. Of course, by then, I'll probably be a little more calm about the whole thing, so you'll get the completely G-rated version, rather than PG or PG-13. You're welcome.

Anyways, I'm back. At least for tonight, because I had the past two days off today and got to sleep in a few more hours. Hooray! I'm also back because this topic was requested by someone on Twitter. I tweeted the other night that I would be going to a Methodist church, which I had never before attended. Apparently, my views on religion interest at least one person (which I find to be awesome!), and he asked that I blog about my experience at the church service. And I cannot say, "No," to something very few will read! Especially when I just get to ramble.

Right, so, on about the church service.

First, I think I should give you a background about my religion. Which I'm actually kind of hesitant to do. I mean, I think I've mentioned a couple of things on Twitter before, but this is a BLOG. Makes that stuff official. But, for the sake of honesty and understanding, I will indulge you with my religious background.

I grew up in the Roman Catholic Church. I had all my beginning sacraments there (Baptism, Reconciliation, Communion, and Confirmation), I knew the routine, I went to the Catechism (C.C.D./Religious Education) classes, etc. Despite doing all of this, I was never a super, duper strict Catholic. For example, I didn't believe fully in Creationism, but rather a mix of that and Evolution (God created the Earth and helped Evolution move along). I also didn't really believe in much of a Hell, especially as the years went on. It became more of a belief in little punishment after death if you were unkind to others during your life on Earth, but that was it. I didn't believe that God would send His children He made to be so far from Him for eternity. I may not have held the same beliefs as other Catholics in those areas, but I did believe in God, Jesus, Mary, the Eucharist, etc.

Then, back in October, I started having discussions with someone about religion. He was/is an atheist (I think?) who seemed to have a particular grudge against the Catholic Church. At this time, I had just started college, and I had joined the choir and college group at the Catholic student parish that was right across from the campus. I had never been more involved in the church before, so it was new, and I was learning more and more while trying to improve my faith. The more this person and I discussed things, though, the more I came to realize that I didn't really fully understand what I believed, but, rather, I believed it because that was what I was comfortable with and basically all I "knew." Then, mid to late December, this person mentioned something about fate and (something like) predestination that really made me think. This led to other questions and ideas. It was at that moment that I lost my Christian faith almost completely. I still had held some hope that it might return, because, really, it had to have been the scariest thing I had gone through. I mean, I adapt to change fairly well, but this kind of change was way different than any other change, and I had not expected it at all. It just kind of jumped out of nowhere. I continued to talk to people and do some reading, and, as the months went on, I moved farther and farther away from religion. Now, I guess you could say that I have almost joined my friend who sort of initiated this change in terms of beliefs... except I don't hold a grudge against Catholics, because, well, that's basically my whole family. Haha.

And that, my reader(s), is sort of my history of my religion. I mean, there are finer and more details, obviously, and you can feel free to ask me whenever (though, I can't promise I'll have a very good answer, because I'm still figuring out things), but it's the basics. Hopefully, it'll help you understand what I observed at this service?

Oh, before I forget, (and just so I can throw this in wherever and have it almost work) I also have attended a sort of service at an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Church (what a name!). See, my "friend" had a New Year's Eve "party" there with her church, and I was invited. I was hesitant to go, but, being the kind of person I am, I wanted to see another church and spend some time with friends. It had also been the first New Year's Eve thing I had been invited to, so I felt almost obligated to say, "Yes." It was an interesting experience, and that is putting it kindly. Now, the people were very kind, and most of them were Mexican, so they had really delicious homemade Mexican food, but I still felt rather uncomfortable. At the end of their service, they did something I was not familiar with, and since I just stood there, along with two or three other people, one person came over and, among other questions, asked if I was going to Heaven. Of course, I said, "Yes." I didn't have a reason, but it was assumed, because, well, I had never done anything horrible to anyone, and I was, like them, a Christian. This did not please the person completely, so they tried to "save" me, even though I had told my friend, who was just watching nearby, more than once, that I did not believe in being "saved." I am, obviously, not trying to hide that I am still upset about this, because it was terribly embarrassing and nerve-wracking. Now, I do not blame the people or the church, and I don't want it to seem like I dislike those people, because, like I said, they were very kind (and they provided me with amazing food). I just wanted to make that clear.

This story could also explain my being scared to try other religious places or practices for a while, but, rather, just sticking with what I was comfortable with. It's not that I always avoided thinking about finding the truth, but that I was scared of having to return to a place of uncertainty like that again. Obviously, I still did go on a journey, and it ended up leading me to a completely different place, but, really, I'm kind of happy with where I am now "religion"- wise. I still try to keep an open mind and find answers, but I do think about some things very differently than I did before, and I like it.

Oh, and about visiting the Methodist church. Well, after the service, I talked to my younger sister (who was the only reason I was there), and she said that that's not really like their typical service. She said it is normally pretty close to a Catholic service, but without as much sitting and standing and no kneeling, and Communion is only once a month instead of everyday. A difference that I observed there, though, actually made me chuckle a little. As they were collecting the donations from people, I saw that pretty much everyone chipped in some money. Now, I don't know about other Catholic churches, but when I watched at mine, few people actually put any money in. I don't know if I quite understand why this difference has happened, but I would like to find out. I felt kind of awkward and out of place at that moment, because I hadn't expected to donate any money, so I didn't. I just had to kind of give a weird grin like, "Yeah, I'm an outsider," to the person taking around the collection plate. But, as my Anthropology professor would say, you are going to make many mistakes when you go to observe in a different place; you just have to learn to laugh at yourself in those moments. So, it's all good. Let's see. What else about my visit? Well, other than that moment, I was actually kind of comfortable there. No one really took notice of me, and, even after they did, they just noted that I was Anne's sister. So, really, it wasn't bad at all.

Wow. This is a really bad observation of the church service, but I really don't know what to say about it. I mean, it felt like I was at church. I guess I would have to attend a "real" service one of these days to actually see what it's like. Maybe I will one Sunday when I have the day off. That could become my new hobby! Religious Places hopping! Could learn a heck of a lot from people and places.

Gah. I need a life. And I need to shut up before I bore you to death too much.

So, if you have any questions or ideas about blogs, I guess just let me know, and I can try to write about it. Hopefully, it'll be better than this. And my apologies go out to Bryce for this horrific "observation." It probably would have helped with a service that wasn't pretty much all about the trip that nineteen kids and eight adults went on. Haha.

And, with that, I bid everyone a good night. :)

Chelsea

Today's Food: Well, today, I had a veggie burger from Morning Star. That was good, but I don't think it's really worth mentioning a whole lot about. Haha. I did go out for a Mexican lunch with Lizz on Monday, though, and I had an amazing meal. This is actually from the time before when I ate it, but it was the same meal, because I love it. A lot. It's even my phone's wallpaper. Don't judge!

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Good Saturday Night, Reader!

I hope you all have been enjoying your Independence Day weekend if you're from the United States. If you're not, well, I hope your weekend is going well.

Today was filled with working. My boss thought it was going to be a super busy day, but it was VERY slow for the majority of the time. Blech. That does mean, however, that I was able to get paid for doing little. WIN!

Anyways, tonight's theme is supposed to be my ex. Well, sorry to disappoint any juicy gossip seekers, but I don't have an ex-boyfriend, and I have never been in love. I HAVE had a few crushes in my day, though. Well, really, more than a few. I used to be quite "boy-crazy" when I was younger. -eye roll- So pathetic. I guess I could give you a sort of list starting from when I can remember. BUT I need to just give first initials, because most of these people have access to this because they're "friends" with me on Facebook, aaaaand some of them are slightly embarrassing. Haha.

1. 1st/2nd grade: Name started with a "T." He gave me a tiny apple eraser. I believe I still have it in an old photo album thing. To me, that tiny eraser meant a lot. I don't think I ever saw him again after that year.

2. 3rd grade: Name started with an "A." He was cute, smart, and played soccer. What more could I ask for? I think he went on to be one of the better soccer players at my school. Along with continuing to be rather good-looking.

3. (Short time in) 4th grade: "A" from 3rd grade and a new kid whose name started with a "C." I think "A" and "C" were possibly related somehow? Unless I totally made that up in my mind, which is never out of the question, because I made up a few stories for myself when I was younger. "C" also had the cute and smart thing going on, PLUS he wanted to play football. He went on to be one of the better football players in my class at my school (REALLY not saying much, though).

4. (Majority of) 4th grade and beginning part of 5th grade: His name started with a "G." He had the funny thing going on (seriously, this kid was hilarious) and the cool, spiked, frosted tip hair thing (YOU know what I'm talking about!). Plus, he and I were friends in 1st/2nd grade. We rode the bus together, I pushed him down the slide once (then I got put on The Wall*). We had great times. I ended up matching him up with one of my friends, though, because I thought they would be better together (this was 4th grade, people, keep that in mind). Gosh, I was awkward. We ended up not really talking again until my Junior year of high school, but even that wasn't talking. It was one conversation. In Chemistry. About squirrels vs. video games. Please, don't ask. I'm not sure what he's doing now. I know he's more hardc0re, so the spiked frosted hair thing is gone, but Facebook doesn't reveal any more than that little bit.

5. 5th grade until (good grief) 8th grade: His name started with an "R." Gosh, I really don't know why I liked this guy this long, but I did. I think it's due to the SERIOUS lack of good guys in G.B. He was one of the class clowns, and he continued to be so until, well, I'm sure he still is cracking the jokes at UofM. He was smart, funny, and did the sports thing, quite similar to some other guys from before. (I, obviously, had a type for a while.) I think he tried football for the school for a while, but ended up going with swimming. Maybe? I'm not sure. I didn't really keep up with him much after I lost interest. I do know that he became one of the more popular guys in my class, though.

6. 9th until 10th grade: His name started with a "T." Nope. Not the guy from 1st/2nd grade. I actually had the pleasure of working with this guy as a lab partner for the first semester of I.P.S. in 9th grade. To this day, if I saw him, I bet you anything the butterflies would return. He is quite the heartthrob. And I'm not afraid to admit it. He's tall, a swimmer, hilarious, smart, and played (or plays, I dunno) in a band. I'm not sure where he is now. I never requested to be friends with him on Facebook (I didn't get a Facebook until after 10th grade, and was, and still am, too scared to add him). But I think he ended up getting a scholarship of some sort for swimming somewhere. That was last I heard, at least, and that was in 11th grade? I'm sure he's doing well, though.

7. 11th until 12th grade: His name started with "B." He is actually the most difficult for me to talk about, and I kind of feel like shying away from this one more than all the others combined. Of all of the guys I liked, I think he was the only one who actually "liked" me back, so he was also the only one I was ever really close to being more than friends with. Actually, he's probably, in some ways, my first "REAL" crush. I mean, the other ones were the weird, creepy, awkward schoolgirl crushes of admiring from somewhat far away. He actually knew, though. Things never really worked out for us for various reasons. Half of it probably had to do something with the fact that he is the brother of one of my best friends. I know, I know. Kind of a big "NO" on that one. But there were other things, too. We still talk now and then, so we didn't totally cut the lines of communication when we realized a Relationship wasn't going to happen. As to what he is currently up to? Last time we talked, he was still in school in Ohio studying to go into massage therapy while working at Walmart. So, he's doing pretty well.

And that, Reader, is a list of all the more major crushes I can recall. I'm sorry to disappoint, once again.. Maybe one day something actually exciting will happen. -gasp- Believe me, it will be front page news of, well, my blog. Or my Twitter, of course!

I hope you have better luck than I have with your crushes/loves in the following time. And I hope you have a great night, 'cause I need to get to bed so I won't be a complete grouch for breakfast with my grandma tomorrow.

Chelsea

Today's Food: Work did not keep me from good food today! Hurray! I started off with eggs with cheese covered with ketchup (yes, I put ketchup on my eggs, shush), all on top of toast. I hate to toot my own horn, but I make pretty delicious eggs. I also had some of those peanut butter bar things again. Finally, my sisters were AWESOME and brought these up to work for me:

On the top is a completely vegetarian homemade pizza with feta cheese, squash, some other yummy...things. Oh my gosh, guys, it was AMAZING. And the perfect timing, too. I was hun-gry! Then, on the right, you see a cupcake. The frosting was the best part, as it should be. Nice and sugary. Yumm!

* The Wall was the place students were sent to if they misbehaved at all during recess. The level of embarrassment was through the roof if you were seen leaning on The Wall. You could be sent there for something as simple as running on the blacktop or woodchips (yes, those were against the school rules) or pushing someone down the slide, causing him/her to bump his/her head, even if it was definitely not supposed to be a mean push, but the playful push like before. Yeah, it's still eating me up a little after ten years.

Day 6: A Stranger?

Hello, Reader! Look! Two days in a row! (Don't worry. The consistent blogging won't last long. Just not the kind of gal I am.)

Anyways, today's blog is supposed to be about a stranger? Well, I mean, I guess the REAL project is to write letters, but I didn't like that, so I just changed it to being about the topic. That's just in case you didn't notice. -cough- Sorry. I'm a little tired again, and I didn't write a semi-draft like I usually do when I work and plan on writing a blog, so my mind is all scattered. It doesn't help that this * was going on in the tab next door to this particular draft. So, you know, my mind is ALL over the place.

Anyways, a stranger? Well, my mom said to never talk to strangers, but my job does mean I have to communicate with them daily, so there are a couple I can talk about, I think.

1. The first stranger is one of my least favorite customers yet. Well, actually, I guess, in a way, he's a favorite, because he gave me this wonderful story that seems to humor so many. So, first, for those of you who don't know, my summer job is at a putt-putt/batting cages/ice cream place. Yupp. I do it all. Superwoman. -shows (no) muscles- For this particular story, though, we're going to concentrate on the batting cages. See, to use the cages, you have to get tokens from a token machine that is in the window of the shack I sit in. Depending on what kind of bill you put into the machine, you get different deals on the number of tokens you receive ($1 gets you 1 token, $5 is 6 tokens, $10 is 13 tokens, and $20 is 28 tokens). Well, some people think you can just put in five one-dollar-bills and still get the six tokens, so I often have to remind customers that this is not possible. So, one day, this man comes, and asks for change to get the $10 deal. I told him that I am out of ten-dollar-bills, but he can put in two five-dollar-bills, and I will just give him an extra token. He looks at me for a second and says, "I don't think this will work." At first, I don't understand why he thinks this won't work, but I let him go ahead and do his thing while I pull out an extra token for him to make sure he gets his deal. He then says, "This isn't working. I knew it wouldn't work." At this point, I am beyond confused, so I look out the window, and I see that he is trying to put in two fives together (one on top of the other, because the machine takes one at a time) to get the ten-dollar deal. Even after I showed him that I was holding the extra token in my hand, it took him a while to register just what was going on. You guys, it took ever little muscle I had to not laugh at him and give him the "Are You REALLY Serious Right Now?" look. He is a stranger who will be impossible to forget, because I don't think I'll have someone try that stunt again. Or, good grief, I hope I don't.

2. The second stranger is a customer I actually really, genuinely liked a lot. She came up to the putt-putt place one afternoon and asked for a gift card of some sort. We really don't have gift cards, but I told her that I could make one up really quickly since only two of us work there. And so it was agreed. As I was making the "card," she was telling me about how she wanted to do this because her college sweetheart was coming into town, and she didn't want him to be able to pay for it. It had been quite a few years (she said she was fifty-six), and they were both divorced and on their first date with each other since college. Now, normally, I really wouldn't find this all that cute or whatever, but just the look of pure excitement and nervous-ness just made my heart leap. It truly was adorable. On top of that, she was just one of the kindest customers I had had with probably the best energy. Having her around for those few minutes just made me feel so much happier. She and her college sweetheart came back that night, and, seriously, they were just great together. They even tied on their putt-putt game! (Or so the man claimed. He may have moved some points around. Heehee.) It had been a rough day, but whenever she came around, it was just like a needle of pure happy energy popped all the bad energy bubbles, and it really made my day. There are some people you don't forget because they were just horrible to you, but I this woman will be difficult to forget because she was just so... wonderful. I really don't know how I would have made it through that day without her, and she kind of made me think about how possible it is to find someone, even if you had been separated for a while. It was just awesome to see.

And I know that's not much, but I do have to return to that job tomorrow for the whole day, and it's supposed to be our busiest weekend. This means more people like Customer One. It is also going on 1:30, so I need to relax with a little TV or something and try to get some sleep.

So, I will...

Wait! I almost forgot! I wanted to start a new "thing" for my blogs! I think everyday I write, I'm going to say what I ate at the very end. Because I love food. And I like talking about what I ate. You can skim over that part if you want, but I wanted to share it. I'm going to try to think of something music-y to do along with that, but I'm not sure yet.

So, now I will be going to bed. Have an awesome day/afternoon/evening/night/LIFE. And thank you for reading. Really. :)

Chelsea

Today's Food: Nothing much, because I was stuck at work. I started off with a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats. Then I had some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Yoohoos**. Later was a peanut butter bar thingy. Finally, a VEGGIE CHICKEN PATTY FROM MORNING STAR with BBQ sauce. Gosh, I love those. Oh, add in a few Coke Zeros, too. Shush. I know I'm not healthy. (This section will, hopefully, be better on some days when I actually do something.)

*Sorry if it's blurry or difficult to read. I was having problems with it. =/

**My wacky sisters brought me this bag full of stuff for my something-something-something birthday, which included the Reese's and Yoohoos. -shrug- I'm not complaining.

(Kinda) Day 5: Dreams

Hi, again, Reader.

I know, I know. It's been a rather long time since my last blog post. Especially because I had said I was going to try to post everyday. I fail at this whole committing to a project online thing. And, really, I thought no one was noticing my lack of posts but me, so I was just going to let it go until I was TRULY inspired and had more than enough time to write, but Mr. Spintown asked me about the absence of posts on my Formspring, which showed someone did notice, so that kind of ruined my thought on the whole thing. It's touching, though, knowing that someone actually realized I wasn't writing. So, thanks (I think?).

One of the reasons it took me forever to post was because Anne got out of school recently, so I've had even less time to myself, because she is QUITE the chatter. I've also had little time when I was actually able to think in a straight line of thought. Like always, my mind has been all over the place. I don't know why I was waiting for anything different to write. It's just how I am. -shrug-

Finally, I didn't know what to write for the topic about dreams.

At first glace, I thought about my nightmares, my day dreams, my normal dreams. That kind of stuff. But, really, I rarely remember few of those, and they're hardly worth a whole blog post about them.

Instead, I thought talking about my life's dreams would be more "interesting." Also bordering the city lines of Cornville, but I guess any readers of this blog have already heard me go on about my family and friends, so talking about my life's dreams isn't quite as bad. Still does make me shiver and roll my eyes a little bit, though, to be completely honest. I'll still give it a shot just to humor this slightly ridiculous topic.

Let's see. My Dreams.

1. I dream that I will travel to different countries. On the top of that list of countries to visit is Ireland. My ancestors came from there, so I think I should take a little trip there at least once in my life to see where I came from.

2. I dream that I will make some kind of difference. I really don't care if it's a difference for one person or a bunch of people, but I want to make a positive difference in the world. I want to help improve things. I don't know how I'm going to do that quite yet, but I am using this time in my life to gain the education necessary to do something.

3. I dream that I will finally figure out what I want to do with my life to make a living. Yeah. I think that speaks for itself.

4. I dream that I will find someone to spend my life with. Okay. Shush. I know this is kind of stupid and lame, but, hey, I'm just trying to be honest with y'all. I sometimes get slightly nervous that I won't be able to find anyone. But am I going to let it consume my thoughts like a hungry beast until I do finally find someone? Nah. I'm not looking for any kind of sympathy with this number. In fact, I want this to never be spoken of again, if you please. Hopefully, this just shows that I intend to be honest on this blog.

5. I dream that I will improve my musical skills. This, actually, is the dream I've had my whole life, and it's also probably the biggest one on my list. When I was younger, I wanted to be a "Singing Vet." No joke. I wanted to do both. At the same time. Sing the diagnosis of the animal's illness and put on a performance for the client. Eventually, however, the harsh realities of my lack of talent and squeamish stomach set in, so I realized such a career was not possible. I came to terms with this unfortunate truth and decided to just focus on the music part of that dream. True, the talent still lacked, and it still does, but I have been able to continue it successfully as a hobby. I want to keep the hobby and help my skills grow. I have become better at piano and guitar this past year, but I would like to add more instruments to my list, such as drums, bass, and violin. I want to learn more music theory. I want to learn how to actually write music. I want to learn how to record the music properly and work sound. Even though I will never be using any of this knowledge, I want to learn it, because it's just something I think is fun. I will remain realistic in knowing that it will not be my future or my money-maker, but I would like to dream that I can grow in this area of my life.

Aaaand that's basically all, I think. I try to remain realistic with my thoughts and future, so that's why they're not that far out there, but for me, they kind of are. But I think dreams are supposed to be at least a little bit out of reach, which is why you are forced to dream about them. I just happen to fear disappointment more than almost anything*, so I attempt to keep them as close to as in reach as possible.

I do hope that this gave you a little insight into my mind or life? Maybe? If not, that's cool. You (probably) know where to find me. Ask me questions then.

Chelsea.


P.S. Some exciting things happened recently or are going to happen, but I didn't want to write a whole blog about them separately and spam you guys. 1) I am FINALLY going to Ohio Monday until Wednesday to see Stephanie after not seeing her for over a year. I am beyond excited for this! 2) My older sister (Liz) is in town for a couple of days, and that is always loads of fun. 3) I had AMAZING Mexican food tonight, and I definitely ate way too much, but I made it worth the money, because Liz was awesome and ended up paying for me. Woot!


*Except maybe needles.