-gasp!- Religion

Hey, Reader!

First, let me give (actually honest) excuses for why I have not written on here in a while, in case anyone actually gives a flying Fig Newton. First, I was tired and working. Second, I was in Ohio for a few days to visit friends, so my time was being taken up by them. And more being tired, because we stayed up rather late and I felt weird sleeping in too late. Third, I was being selfish and absorbed in my own feelings about something that was going on that had me all confused and... -deep breath- That's for another blog. It actually fits with one of those blog topic things that I haven't been keeping up with very well. So, I guess you'll know in a little while. Of course, by then, I'll probably be a little more calm about the whole thing, so you'll get the completely G-rated version, rather than PG or PG-13. You're welcome.

Anyways, I'm back. At least for tonight, because I had the past two days off today and got to sleep in a few more hours. Hooray! I'm also back because this topic was requested by someone on Twitter. I tweeted the other night that I would be going to a Methodist church, which I had never before attended. Apparently, my views on religion interest at least one person (which I find to be awesome!), and he asked that I blog about my experience at the church service. And I cannot say, "No," to something very few will read! Especially when I just get to ramble.

Right, so, on about the church service.

First, I think I should give you a background about my religion. Which I'm actually kind of hesitant to do. I mean, I think I've mentioned a couple of things on Twitter before, but this is a BLOG. Makes that stuff official. But, for the sake of honesty and understanding, I will indulge you with my religious background.

I grew up in the Roman Catholic Church. I had all my beginning sacraments there (Baptism, Reconciliation, Communion, and Confirmation), I knew the routine, I went to the Catechism (C.C.D./Religious Education) classes, etc. Despite doing all of this, I was never a super, duper strict Catholic. For example, I didn't believe fully in Creationism, but rather a mix of that and Evolution (God created the Earth and helped Evolution move along). I also didn't really believe in much of a Hell, especially as the years went on. It became more of a belief in little punishment after death if you were unkind to others during your life on Earth, but that was it. I didn't believe that God would send His children He made to be so far from Him for eternity. I may not have held the same beliefs as other Catholics in those areas, but I did believe in God, Jesus, Mary, the Eucharist, etc.

Then, back in October, I started having discussions with someone about religion. He was/is an atheist (I think?) who seemed to have a particular grudge against the Catholic Church. At this time, I had just started college, and I had joined the choir and college group at the Catholic student parish that was right across from the campus. I had never been more involved in the church before, so it was new, and I was learning more and more while trying to improve my faith. The more this person and I discussed things, though, the more I came to realize that I didn't really fully understand what I believed, but, rather, I believed it because that was what I was comfortable with and basically all I "knew." Then, mid to late December, this person mentioned something about fate and (something like) predestination that really made me think. This led to other questions and ideas. It was at that moment that I lost my Christian faith almost completely. I still had held some hope that it might return, because, really, it had to have been the scariest thing I had gone through. I mean, I adapt to change fairly well, but this kind of change was way different than any other change, and I had not expected it at all. It just kind of jumped out of nowhere. I continued to talk to people and do some reading, and, as the months went on, I moved farther and farther away from religion. Now, I guess you could say that I have almost joined my friend who sort of initiated this change in terms of beliefs... except I don't hold a grudge against Catholics, because, well, that's basically my whole family. Haha.

And that, my reader(s), is sort of my history of my religion. I mean, there are finer and more details, obviously, and you can feel free to ask me whenever (though, I can't promise I'll have a very good answer, because I'm still figuring out things), but it's the basics. Hopefully, it'll help you understand what I observed at this service?

Oh, before I forget, (and just so I can throw this in wherever and have it almost work) I also have attended a sort of service at an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Church (what a name!). See, my "friend" had a New Year's Eve "party" there with her church, and I was invited. I was hesitant to go, but, being the kind of person I am, I wanted to see another church and spend some time with friends. It had also been the first New Year's Eve thing I had been invited to, so I felt almost obligated to say, "Yes." It was an interesting experience, and that is putting it kindly. Now, the people were very kind, and most of them were Mexican, so they had really delicious homemade Mexican food, but I still felt rather uncomfortable. At the end of their service, they did something I was not familiar with, and since I just stood there, along with two or three other people, one person came over and, among other questions, asked if I was going to Heaven. Of course, I said, "Yes." I didn't have a reason, but it was assumed, because, well, I had never done anything horrible to anyone, and I was, like them, a Christian. This did not please the person completely, so they tried to "save" me, even though I had told my friend, who was just watching nearby, more than once, that I did not believe in being "saved." I am, obviously, not trying to hide that I am still upset about this, because it was terribly embarrassing and nerve-wracking. Now, I do not blame the people or the church, and I don't want it to seem like I dislike those people, because, like I said, they were very kind (and they provided me with amazing food). I just wanted to make that clear.

This story could also explain my being scared to try other religious places or practices for a while, but, rather, just sticking with what I was comfortable with. It's not that I always avoided thinking about finding the truth, but that I was scared of having to return to a place of uncertainty like that again. Obviously, I still did go on a journey, and it ended up leading me to a completely different place, but, really, I'm kind of happy with where I am now "religion"- wise. I still try to keep an open mind and find answers, but I do think about some things very differently than I did before, and I like it.

Oh, and about visiting the Methodist church. Well, after the service, I talked to my younger sister (who was the only reason I was there), and she said that that's not really like their typical service. She said it is normally pretty close to a Catholic service, but without as much sitting and standing and no kneeling, and Communion is only once a month instead of everyday. A difference that I observed there, though, actually made me chuckle a little. As they were collecting the donations from people, I saw that pretty much everyone chipped in some money. Now, I don't know about other Catholic churches, but when I watched at mine, few people actually put any money in. I don't know if I quite understand why this difference has happened, but I would like to find out. I felt kind of awkward and out of place at that moment, because I hadn't expected to donate any money, so I didn't. I just had to kind of give a weird grin like, "Yeah, I'm an outsider," to the person taking around the collection plate. But, as my Anthropology professor would say, you are going to make many mistakes when you go to observe in a different place; you just have to learn to laugh at yourself in those moments. So, it's all good. Let's see. What else about my visit? Well, other than that moment, I was actually kind of comfortable there. No one really took notice of me, and, even after they did, they just noted that I was Anne's sister. So, really, it wasn't bad at all.

Wow. This is a really bad observation of the church service, but I really don't know what to say about it. I mean, it felt like I was at church. I guess I would have to attend a "real" service one of these days to actually see what it's like. Maybe I will one Sunday when I have the day off. That could become my new hobby! Religious Places hopping! Could learn a heck of a lot from people and places.

Gah. I need a life. And I need to shut up before I bore you to death too much.

So, if you have any questions or ideas about blogs, I guess just let me know, and I can try to write about it. Hopefully, it'll be better than this. And my apologies go out to Bryce for this horrific "observation." It probably would have helped with a service that wasn't pretty much all about the trip that nineteen kids and eight adults went on. Haha.

And, with that, I bid everyone a good night. :)

Chelsea

Today's Food: Well, today, I had a veggie burger from Morning Star. That was good, but I don't think it's really worth mentioning a whole lot about. Haha. I did go out for a Mexican lunch with Lizz on Monday, though, and I had an amazing meal. This is actually from the time before when I ate it, but it was the same meal, because I love it. A lot. It's even my phone's wallpaper. Don't judge!